Last year, I had this grand plan of moving my blog to a new platform, get a new design, and in blogging parlance: "grow my blog". I actually did that: moved my blog to self-hosted Wordpress and then spent weeks working on a design on my own. But I didn't get to exactly where I wanted to be.
Image from Lovethispic
I spent days and weeks poring over Pinterest, looking over other blogs to check out designs, but in the end, I felt overwhelmed by it all. All those pretty blogs exist and it seemed that they all have the same message, which worked negatively for me. Instead of inspiring me, I just felt that I had nothing else to say. I guess it's because I spent most of 2014 sad, wistful and totally disinterested--and that's not what I really want to remember here.
Finding my voice again
There were two things that pushed me to slowly, tentatively write here again.
First, I got Martine de Luna as my blog coach. In our sessions, Martine probed me with questions that I really hadn't asked myself as a blogger: What is your purpose? What is your message? Truthfully, I went into our sessions not knowing what to say. But at the end of it, I felt that I had a clearer picture of what I want this space to be.
Second, in January, I lost ALL the posts I made when I moved to Wordpress. I actually forgot that I had to renew my self-hosting that by the time I got around to it, the company had already deleted my blog. I lost more than half of my 2014 posts, never to be retrieved again. I don't even keep drafts in my files to recreate the posts (and even if I did, I don't have the energy to do so).
Losing my posts felt like I lost a part of my year. I realized I was too caught up in the details--how the site should look, fonts, colors, etc. There was just too much information out there that I felt I couldn't really write down anything without having everything look just perfect.
The first step is: Just Write!
But at the heart of it, all I really want is to write and share my stories, to document my life and hopefully, whoever drops by gets a little bit entertained or inspired by it. If I take out the fancy design, the nice colors, the fonts, all I'll really be left with is the stories. And I want them to be meaningful.
So I decided to come back to this platform. Just because I don't have the time and the patience to figure out Wordpress (not to mention losing my posts really scared me!). I'll worry about the look later. For now, it's all about the stories I want to remember, and what I want to share with you.
Here's to writing again!